‘Hints & Tips’? How to be More Charismatic and Confident in Speaking

Charisma: when you look it up in the dictionary, there is a picture of me… but George Clooney is more famous, so…

What does ‘charisma’ even mean?

We know it when we see and hear it, don’t we? Have we either got it, or we ain’t?

When people come to me for public speaking coaching, they often say something along the lines of: “I want to sound more confident and charismatic when I speak.”

There’s a high demand for charisma out there, which is why you see so much clickbait about the sort of ‘hints & tips’ that will help you be more charismatic.

I saw one article in which the first tip was ‘exude confidence’.

Sorry, what?? How exactly does one ‘exude’ anything?

It’s about as useful as saying ‘be amazing!’.

Charisma isn’t about tricks - clever lines, clever gestures.

You might want people to think of you as charismatic, but it’s not about trying to control what others think of you.

It’s about shifting your focus outward, onto your listener - in order to make them feel valued.

In this post, I’ll explain why so many people struggle with confidence when they speak, what charisma really means to me, and how practical voice and body exercises can help you communicate with impact.

The Obstacle: Your Inner Voice

If you’ve ever given a presentation, led a meeting, or even introduced yourself in a social setting, you may have heard a voice in your head saying things like:

Do they like me?

Do I sound confident?

Be more funny! Be more interesting?

This inner dialogue is completely normal—but it’s also a distraction. Instead of being present with your listener, your attention is hijacked by self-criticism and second-guessing. You’re caught up in performance anxiety rather than in what’s actually going on for the flesh-and-blood human in front of you. This will affect you physically.

Charisma disappears the moment you’re focused on yourself instead of the people in front of you.

What Charisma Really Means

We often think of charisma as a mysterious quality—something you either have or you don’t.

But in my experience as a public speaking coach, charisma is much more practical and down-to-earth.

Charisma comes from showing your listener that you value them. When you tune into their needs as listeners, and do specific things physically and vocally to meet those needs, what you say feels more engaging and meaningful. The listener feels respected and heard, so they respond with interest and warmth.

In short, charisma isn’t about dazzling people—it’s about making them feel involved.

Public Speaking Exercises for Confidence

You might be wondering, “How do I actually do that?”

The most important thing is to remember that speaking as a physical act, not just an intellectual one, and that what people experience and give the name ‘charisma’ to is a physical sensation.

Many people have confidence in their ideas, in their work, or in writing well. But when it comes to speaking, they lack the physical tools to deliver those ideas with clarity and energy.

That’s where practical exercises come in. Never mind cheap one-liners like “stand straight” or “smile more.” Instead, they’re out-loud, physical techniques that train your voice, body, and attention to work together in real time. We’re building muscle memory—you practise until the skills become second nature.

For example, in my free 1hr taster session, that I offer to everyone before they consider booking a course, I record the person speaking, twice: once in their usual way, and once after a short exercise that involves putting more emphasis on certain words and pausing in certain places. Then I record again, and play both back.

In the second recording, people tend to sound like someone who genuinely cares about his subject and his audience. That’s the kind of transformation these techniques create.

Why Exercises Work Better Than “Tips”

Confidence in speaking is not the same as the intellectual confidence you feel when you’ve written a strong essay or crafted a solid business plan.

Speaking confidence is physical. It’s something you feel in your body and voice, and it only develops through doing, not thinking.

That’s why my approach doesn’t rely on one-off “hints and tips” like “speak clearly” “slow down” or “exude confidence.” Those are surface-level tweaks (and they don’t really work most of the time).

Instead, I give clients a toolkit of physical exercises they can practise consistently, so they know exactly what to do when they open their mouths to speak.

Building True Confidence and Lasting Charisma

At the end of a course of coaching, my goal is for you to have a clear, straightforward understanding of what to do when you speak—not just how you’d like people to react.

Confidence grows from competence. Once you know how to use your voice and body effectively, and you’ve practised it enough, you stop worrying about whether you “sound confident.” Instead, you pay attention to what’s in front of you, and respond accordingly to what these listeners need from you as listeners, not judge and jury over whether you are a clever impressive person.

Final Thoughts

If you’re struggling with speaking confidence, remember this:

• Don’t waste energy worrying about how charismatic or interesting you seem; shift your focus to the listener and their needs.

• Practise speaking out loud, not in your head: as a physical act, with exercises that train your body and voice.

Over time, you’ll find that confidence and charisma aren’t elusive qualities—they’re skills you can develop. And once you have them, you’ll be able to connect with people more powerfully, whether you’re leading a team, pitching an idea, or simply introducing yourself.

Ready to develop real speaking confidence? I offer one-to-one coaching in public speaking and accent reduction, where we focus on practical exercises that help you speak with clarity, confidence, and charisma.